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Upon reaching an appropriate age (usually between 18 and 21 years), children are encouraged, but not forced, to “leave the nest” and begin an independent life. After children leave home they often find social relationship and financial support outside the family. Parents do not arrange marriages for their children, nor do children usually ask permission of their parents to get married. Romantic love is most often the basis for marriage in the United States; young adults meet their future spouses (配偶) through other friends, at jobs, and in organizations and religious institutions. Although children choose their own spouses, they still hope their parents will approve of their choices. In many families, parents feel that children should make major life decisions by themselves. A parent may try to influence a child to follow a particular profession but the child is free to choose another career. Sometimes children do precisely the opposite of what their parents wish in order to assert their independence. A son may deliberately decide not to go into his father’s business because of a fear that he will lose his autonomy in his father’s workplace. This independence from parents is not an indication that parents and children do not love each other. Strong love between parents and children is universal and this is no exception in the American family. Coexisting with such love in the American family are cultural values of self-reliance and independence.
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